landbeastnovel Chapter 189: A Prayer For Miro (8)
Chapter 189: A Prayer For Miro (8)
User: Han Kain (Wisdom)
Date: Day 94
Current Location: Miro’s Hell
Sage’s Advice: 3
- Han Kain
A few hours ago, we thoroughly analyzed Santa’s behavior patterns to make a plan to deal with him.
What is the logic behind Santa’s actions?
At the very least, he wasn’t just a simple monster who mindlessly slaughtered everyone in his sight.
We managed to identify a few patterns.
For instance, Santa didn’t act until it was officially Christmas, and he had to sing a relevant carol before he could conjure any supernatural phenomenon. However, more important than these patterns was the underlying principle behind his actions.
The answer lay in the repeated phrases he uttered and the words written on the metal plate we found among the remnants of the ritual.
‘A reward for a good boy and a punishment for a bad boy.’
Santa seemed to give presents to good children and punished the bad ones.
Once we figured that out, the first step of our plan was in place: we would complete Santa’s job before he even had a chance to!
Sure enough, Santa began to show a fury unlike anything we’d seen from him before.
“What a ridiculous bunch you are! Do you think Santa’s job is just to hand out presents to all the children? You’re mistaken! Only ‘good children’ are deserving of presents! Have all of these children received gifts? This alone proves that you understand nothing of Santa!”
Santa’s first argument was that only good children deserve presents.
As we had anticipated this logic, I stood up and approached Santa.
“Santa, you remember me, right? We met earlier.”
“Of course, I remember. You’re Kain, aren’t you? You’ve come just in time. I have your gift ready—”
“Santa, I remember what you told me earlier: ‘There’s no such thing as a completely good person. Everyone makes mistakes and gets dirty. What matters is reflection and repentance.’ Isn’t that right?”
“...That’s true.”
“I’ve thought deeply about your words, Santa! What’s important is reflection, right? You said it yourself, didn’t you? That’s what matters most, isn’t it?”
“...”
“Everyone, it’s time for the Apology Reading!”
“...”
There was a moment of silence.
The kids looked at me in confusion, their faces asking, “What are you doing?”
Meanwhile, Santa’s expression grew increasingly ominously.
“Hoho. Unlike you, Kain, it seems the other children haven’t properly repented, have they?”
Is this plan falling apart because the kids aren’t reading their apologies? No way, not like this—
Suddenly, the girl with bunny-like eyes jumped up.
“I apologize! I’m Miro!”
“...And?”
“Yesterday, I threw away all my broccoli at lunch. Also, during dinner, I ate Ahri’s ham
Kim Ahri: So that’s why my ham was gone?
Han Kain: Did she forget what she wrote in her apology letter? Is she dumb?
Kim Ahri: Don’t insult Miro!
“And, uh... during math class earlier, I didn’t study and had a snowball fight instead. But that’s not really a big deal! The teacher joined in too. And I put ice in the snowball I threw at Kain, but he laughed, so it’s okay, right? Uh... is that good enough?”
While Santa was momentarily speechless, Miro quickly kicked the boy next to her.
“Hey! Thomas!”
“Huh? Huh?”
“Apologize! Hurry up and apologize!”
Oh! What fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.>
Perhaps because he hadn’t yet sorted the good children from the bad, no one was immediately killed.
But there was definitely magic in the air.
As soon as the carol began, a snowstorm swirled around the first floor, and reindeer appeared out of nowhere!
Is this turning into a... carol battle?
Santa’s fourth argument: “Can you even sing a proper carol?”
Grandpa, momentarily taken aback, started singing a carol himself, “Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh, O’er the hills we go, laughing all the way!”
Han Kain: Grandpa can sing really well!
Kim Ahri: Now’s not the time to compliment his singing! He’s losing in terms of momentum!
It was obvious.
Even though Grandpa was singing well, he was no match for Santa’s magical carol that summoned snowstorms and reindeer.
The situation started to feel like we were being overwhelmed!
Santa, now full of confidence, opened his mouth again, “That’s all you’ve got? Someone who can’t even sing a proper carol dares to impersonate Santa?”
What do we do now?
This whole situation has been such a mess that I don’t even know how to respond anymore!
Suddenly, Miro jumped up and shouted, “Everyone! Sing along!”
“Huh? What?”
“M-Miro?”
“Sing along! Dashing through the snow!”
What is she—
Kim Ahri: You sing too!
“Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh!”
In the chaos, I, along with the other kids, followed Miro’s lead and began singing along.
For some reason, this seemed to shift the momentum back to our side.
Grandpa chuckled, “Ha. Look at this, ‘Senior’. You’ve been bragging about your experience, but do you even understand the essence of carols?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Is the true essence of carols about summoning snow and reindeer? Who was it that just spoke of Santa’s boundless love for children?”
“...”
“Look around! All the children are singing along with me! This is what a true carol is about!”
“Bells on bobtails ring, making spirits bright! What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!”
““Bells on bobtails ring, making spirits bright! What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!””
Santa, unable to respond, began trembling violently.
Is this it? Are we finally winning?
Just when it seemed like victory was within reach, Santa pulled out his trump card.
- Grunt, huff!
The carnivorous reindeer, which had been as confused as we were, approached the demonic Santa and gently nuzzled him as if offering comfort.
In this strangely peaceful scene of reindeer comforting an “old man”, Santa’s mouth once again split open vertically.
“Very well. You’ve got some impressive credentials—a teacher and even a cardinal, you say? I’ll acknowledge that much at the very least. And you can sing carols too. But...”
Grandpa’s face hardened, anticipating what was coming next.
“Where’s your Rudolph? Don’t tell me you’re claiming to be Santa without even having a reindeer sleigh?”
The atmosphere in the school immediately turned ice-cold.